Anatomy of My Dream Business
Amongst a sea of tech startups, crypto billionaires and NFT gold rushes, I still say "drug dealer" is my dream business. Let me explain...
Hello my beautiful internet friends!!!
I’ve owned several businesses and I’ve made lots of money over the years, but believe it or not I have yet to create my DREAM BUSINESS.
I have a very clear vision of what that business would be, and I have the financial resources to fund the business into existence. So why haven’t I taken the plunge?
Here’s why: What I DON’T have is the ENERGY to create the business!!
I’m old, fat, and happy. “First-world problem” I guess.
I’ll use this issue of the newsletter to lay out my “dream business” idea as best I can and who knows - maybe one of my dear readers will take the torch and turn it into a real business. I’d love to see that happen!
What Qualities Does My Dream Business Have?
In no particular order and unique to my own wants and needs, here are the main qualities I want my business to have:
Time-Elastic - I want to be able to work as little or as much as I want. I want to be flexible. I want to be able to take breaks, vacations, etc. as needed.
Low Start-Up Cost - Let’s face it, many businesses fail. I don’t want to risk a large percentage of my net-worth to see whether or not my idea will fly.
People-Facing - I’m at a time in my life where I don’t want to spend my final years alone in front of a computer screen. I want to interact with people. This isn’t for everybody, but it’s simply what I want for me.
Highly Profitable - The best piece of advice my dad ever gave me was “you’re in business to make a profit.” He was right. We need to get paid or else why put forth the time and energy?!
Room for Creativity - I’d never run a lawncare business because I’d find it too boring and repetitive. I need room to be creative or else I lose interest.
Cut to the Chase - What IS My Dream Business?!?!
I’m not gonna lie…. I always wanted to be a drug dealer. No, not a REAL drug dealer. I’ve always wanted to SELL ICE CREAM!!
I want to make it clear that I am fiercely anti-drug. I’ve never done drugs and I certainly don’t want to glamorize any part of the “drug culture,” but what I HAVE been jealous of is a business with products customers actually LUST OVER.
Drugs fit this bill, but drugs are bad. Ice cream fits this bill and ice cream is wonderfully good!
Origins of My Ice Cream Empire Dream
I suppose my dream starts with my very first taste of ice cream as a little kid. Who doesn’t like this stuff right out of the gate?! I can’t tell you when and where I had it for the first time, but I’ll bet I was younger than 12 months old.
I also remember the first time I got to take part in MAKING homemade ice cream. My Mom picked up an old ice cream maker that looked much like this one:
As a little boy I was incredibly excited to learn that you can make your own ice cream. I also loved the physical nature of it. I LOVED turning that crank!
What was most memorable about making our own ice cream is that it tasted infinitely better than store-bought ice cream! I just couldn’t believe the difference.
Ice Cream Trucks in Childhood!
We all remember chasing down the “ice cream man” before he left the block. Do you remember that sound his truck made? Magic!!
All kids instinctually knew the following protocol when the neighborhood ice cream truck sound hit their eardrums:
Step 1 - Immediately stop whatever you are doing and sprint home to ask your mom for money.
Step 2 - Search anywhere and everywhere for loose change in case your mom is out of cash.
Step 3 - Sprint as fast as you can back to the ice cream truck.
Step 4 - Order your favorite.
Step 5 - Mock any neighbor kids who were either too slow or too broke to purchase their own ice cream.
The Nuts and Bolts of My Dream Ice Cream Business
Homemade, “Hard” Ice Cream - I wouldn’t mess with soft serve because of all the cleanup and potentially wasted product. Homemade also means I get to be creative and have a truly one-of-a-kind product.
No Brick and Mortar - I don’t want to be tied down to one location and I want to keep overhead low. I’d do this by selling out of a mobile truck or even a simple “pushcart.”
Seasonal - The ice cream business dips drastically from November to March even in warm climates like Florida. I would shut down completely during those months (another benefit of having very low overhead and no fixed location).
Events - My plan would be to mostly sell at events like festivals, carnivals, fundraisers and flea markets. Lots of people and lots of energy.
Major Start-Up Expenses:
This is not a comprehensive list of all the expenses, but these main pieces will get me most of the way there.
There are other serious considerations like a commercial kitchen, licensing, branding, advertising, etc., but I see these as needs that can be filled with little to no cost if you’re willing to be creative and/or tenacious.
Most hot dog vendors get around the commercial kitchen requirement fairly easily, and many mobile food vendors have mastered the use of social media to promote their wares locally.
Video Vault Motivation
Watch a real-life ice cream operator in action. His setup isn’t exactly like the one I envision, but that’s not the point. Watch this video and tell me the ice cream business wouldn’t be a fun way to make a living!
Maybe this issue was enough to get you thinking about running your own ice cream operation. If so, I’m brimming with pride. If ice cream isn’t your jam, no problem, but do start think of some sort of ownership opportunity.
Remember, ownership is where you want to be!!!
Tony V